How communication styles can benefit (or sink!) your Virtual Assistant business.

I fell into this communication styles rabbit hole completely by accident - after working with clients who seemed to be speaking an entirely different language depending on whether it was a Zoom call or an email! 

The truth is, we rarely think about how we communicate day-to-day. I certainly didn't until I started working more with my ideal clients.

Some of us (like me!) love those deep, rambling voice notes with loads of listening and context, while others would rather you just cut to the chase with minimal faff (ok, sometimes this is me as well!).

Some people pick up on those subtle hints and unspoken things, whereas others need everything spelled out in black and white - and honestly, neither is right or wrong when you're working remotely. It’s about getting it right for you, and your client.

Your communication style isn't just about your words - it's your tone, body language (or those little emojis if you're typing!), and even how you structure your messages. No single style is inherently better than another, but learning to adapt how you communicate with different personality types can completely transform how you run your virtual assistant business. For remote workers and self-employed VAs who don’t have the benefit of water cooler body language, it builds trust, cuts down misunderstandings, and makes working relationships so much smoother.

The four main types of communicator

After working with loads of different clients, I've noticed most people fall roughly into one of these four categories. Though we're all a bit of a mix really - I definitely shift between at least two depending on whether I've had enough sleep!

Passive communicators

These are the quiet ones who'd rather eat their own keyboard than face any sort of confrontation. They tend to go with the flow, which sounds lovely until you realise it's nearly impossible to know when they need help or when something isn't working for them.

They struggle to say what they actually need, so you'll need to check in regularly and gently encourage them to be honest. I don’t typically work with clients like this, I need confident communication whether it’s praise or criticism. 

Aggressive communicators

These are your straight-talking, no-filter types who'll tell you exactly what they're thinking without sugar-coating anything. They often dominate conversations and react quickly without considering how their words might land.

This style can work brilliantly in high-pressure situations but can create tension too. The key to working with these clients? Stay calm, set clear boundaries, and make sure you both feel heard.

I've had clients like this who initially seemed intimidating but ended up being favourites once we established a good rhythm. There is huge freedom in knowing there is no bullshit, and praise is REAL.

Passive-aggressive communicators

God, these are tricky! On the surface, they seem agreeable, but their words and actions don't match up. They avoid direct confrontation but show their frustration in sneaky ways – sarcasm, little digs, or mysteriously "forgetting" tasks.

This often stems from feeling unheard, so encouraging open and honest communication is absolutely crucial. I once had a client who'd respond "fine" to everything but then leave passive-aggressive comments on shared documents – nightmare, and no longer a client!

Assertive communicators

This is the holy grail – clear, confident communication while still being respectful and open to feedback. These people know how to set boundaries, take on challenges, and say "no" when needed, without being aggressive or defensive.

It’s what I aim to be, though as a people pleaser it’s not always easy! 

Recognise yourself?

Do you see yourself in any of these styles? I was convinced I was purely assertive until my husband ‘kindly’ pointed out my passive-aggressive tendencies when I'm tired! I’m also most likely autistic (that’s another blog!), which also impacts how I communicate and respond to communication. Too direct and it triggers RSD. I can also be TOO black and white at times and have to make sure I’m really listening to and decoding my client correctly.

Most of us naturally lean one way but switch it up depending on the situation or who we're talking to.

If you're not sure which one fits you best, there are loads of online quizzes you can try! (I'm a sucker for a good personality quiz - spent far too long doing them when I should have been invoicing clients...)

Adapting your communication style doesn't mean becoming a completely different person or being fake - it's about being flexible to make your interactions clearer and more effective. Think of it like speaking someone else's language rather than expecting them to learn yours.

And this really matters as a VA! 

As a business owner, you'll connect with all sorts of potential clients with different communication styles - including those with ADHD, autism, or other neurodivergent traits (whether diagnosed or not). And let me tell you, understanding different communication needs is CRUCIAL for successful virtual assistant work.

Different clients process information differently:

• Visual processors need diagrams, charts, or videos

• Auditory processors prefer calls or voice notes over written text

• Reading/writing processors thrive with detailed written instructions

• Kinesthetic processors want practical examples and walk-throughs

At its heart, adapting your communication style isn't about you - it's about making sure the person you're talking to feels properly heard and understood. For neurodivergent clients working with a virtual assistant, this might be the first time they've worked with someone who "gets" how their brain works!

Communication sits at the absolute core of any successful VA business, particularly when working remotely. By understanding both your own style and recognising how others prefer to communicate, you can tweak your approach to make every interaction more effective.

I learned all this gradually through working with different clients and noticing what worked best for each of them in our remote collaborations. 

For instance, my client with ADHD absolutely hates long emails - they get lost in the text and miss important details. Instead, we use bullet points, highlighted action items, TL:DR, and sometimes voice notes for complex stuff. Completely changed our working relationship!

Then there's me, who needs everything explicitly stated - no assumptions, no vague requests. I prefer written communication over calls because it gives me time to process information properly. I now build this into my working arrangements with clients so their expectations are met, and it works wonderfully.

Want to learn more about building a successful virtual assistant business? Check out my other posts on setting your VA rates, finding your niche as a self-employed professional, and creating boundaries in remote work. And feel free to drop me a message if you're just starting your VA journey - I love connecting with other virtual assistants!