Guest Blog - Breaking Free from Overwhelm: The 3 stages of Pain Business Owners Face
- COZ PR
- Feb 7
- 7 min read
by Amber Pattullo of Lemon Virtual Assistant
Hello, I’m Amber, and I own Lemon Virtual Assistant.
In 2018, after the birth of my second child, I decided to organise free mum meetups. I absolutely loved them. They helped me build a village of support around me—something I desperately needed. There was a nine-year age gap between my two children, and in that time, my friendships had evolved. While I was knee-deep in nappies and sleep deprivation, my friends were nearly a decade into parenthood, enjoying a new kind of freedom. I felt lost and alone in this new bubble of motherhood.
Don’t get me wrong, I adored my baby. But somewhere along the way, I had lost who I was.
Over time, my small meetups grew. I hired venues, formalised the concept, and a few years later, I had three bricks-and-mortar venues, a team of fantastic staff, and an award-winning business with a steady flow of visitors. From the outside, it looked like a success story.
But under the surface, I was struggling.
The pressure, the juggling, the stress, and then the post-COVID changes, left me feeling empty. I was a swan, gliding gracefully on the surface, but underneath, my feet were paddling frantically to keep everything afloat.
I couldn’t understand why I felt this way. By all accounts, I had built something to be proud of. But somehow, the business I had created was no longer one I resonated with.
And so, I faced a choice.
I chose to sell up.
It broke my heart. It felt like failure. I thought I had let myself down. But over time, I learned from that experience.
Now, as a virtual assistant, I support business owners so they don’t reach the same level of exhaustion and disconnection that I did.
If any of these feelings resonate with you, then this is for you. Below, I’m breaking down the three stages of business pain, and how you can protect yourself from burnout while keeping your business thriving through the most rocky of waters.
The 3 Stages of Business Pain (And How to Prevent Burnout)
Stage 1: The Hustle Trap (Passion Turns into Pressure)
At the start, most business owners thrive on passion and adrenaline. You’re doing everything yourself; marketing, admin, client work, and everything in between. You love what you do, but you also find yourself working longer hours, answering emails late at night, and taking on every opportunity that comes your way.
I remember this stage well. In the early days of my business, I was constantly on the go, handling bookings, managing events, and troubleshooting problems, all while being a mum. I convinced myself that hard work was just part of the process, that if I could just push a little harder, everything would eventually feel easier. But that ease never came.
As the business grew, so did my workload. I was saying yes to everything, feeling like I had to be the one in control of every detail. The idea of hiring help seemed too risky, and I told myself, "It’s just easier if I do it myself." But it wasn’t. I was running myself into the ground.
Looking back, I realise that I was stuck in tasks that weren’t moving the business forward. I should have started outsourcing earlier, even in small ways. If I had let go of things like admin work or automated parts of my process, I wouldn’t have felt so stretched so early on. Instead, I waited too long, and before I knew it, I had moved into the next stage—the point where exhaustion starts to set in.
If this is the stage you are in, try this:
Audit your time. Write down everything you do in a week and highlight tasks that don’t require your expertise.
Start small with outsourcing. Delegate one low-impact task, such as admin or social media scheduling.
Set boundaries. Establish clear working hours and stick to them—don’t respond to emails at midnight.
Batch similar tasks together. Instead of answering emails all day, set designated times to check your inbox.
Stage 2: The Overwhelm Wall (Burnout Creeps In)
This is where exhaustion takes hold. You’re still juggling everything, but now it’s starting to take a toll. The passion that once fuelled you turns into stress. Instead of waking up excited to work on your business, you wake up feeling overwhelmed before the day even begins.
For me, this stage hit hard. I was running a business that, from the outside, looked like a success. People saw me as someone who had built something thriving, winning awards, and attracting customers. But inside, I felt completely drained. I was a swan gliding along gracefully, but beneath the surface, I was frantically paddling just to stay afloat.
Covid had joined us.
Like so many business owners, I found myself having to constantly adapt, pivot, and rethink how we operated, just to keep the business running. There were constant rule changes, uncertainty about lockdowns, and a never-ending pressure to adjust our services to survive. Every time we found a solution, something else would shift. I felt like I was spinning plates, and if I stopped, even for a second, everything would come crashing down.
Because of this, I found it even harder to let go of the reins. I told myself that I had to be in control because the business was changing so frequently. I struggled to find the right people to help because I felt like I was the only one who truly understood what needed to be done. It wasn’t just about hiring, it was about finding someone I trusted to navigate the uncertainty with me. And so, instead of letting go, I held on even tighter.
I did have staff working during operating hours, and in many ways, the front-facing business ran smoothly. But it was the back-end work that felt like it was choking me. The emails, scheduling, payroll, supplier coordination, marketing, and problem-solving, all of it rested on my shoulders.
I did try to hire support. I knew I needed help. But because I had left it so late, I struggled to set up systems or create clear Standard Operating Procedures (SOPs). Instead of feeling relieved when I hired help, I actually felt like I had more to do because I was constantly answering questions and communicating with the person handling my admin. Tasks that should have taken them minutes were taking me twice as long because I had to explain everything from scratch.
I learned the hard way that outsourcing without clear systems in place can actually make things worse instead of better.
If this is the stage you are in, try this:
Document everything before hiring. Start by writing down how you currently do key tasks (emails, client management, invoicing). This way, when you bring someone in, they can follow a process instead of constantly asking you for guidance.
Create Standard Operating Procedures (SOPs). Break down recurring tasks step-by-step so that when you outsource, the transition is smooth.
Seek help to build systems before outsourcing. If setting up SOPs and workflows feels overwhelming, work with a consultant or a VA who specialises in business systems before bringing on additional help.
Be clear on what you need. Instead of hiring general help, find someone with experience in organising business operations so they can work independently instead of relying on you.
Stage 3: The Make-or-Break Moment (Scale, Sell, or Step Away)
There comes a moment in business where you realise something has to change. Some people call it burnout. Dan Martell, in Buy Back Your Time, calls it “The Pain Line.” Whatever name you give it, it’s that point where you know you can’t keep going as you are. You have three choices: scale and rebuild your business in a way that’s sustainable, let it fade while you struggle to keep up, or step away completely.
For me, this was my defining moment. I had built something that, by all external measures, was a success. But deep down, I no longer resonated with the business I had created. I had spent so much time growing it, but I had never stopped to ask myself if this was truly what I wanted.
Selling the business was one of the hardest decisions I’ve ever made. It felt like I had failed, like I had let myself down. I had poured everything into it, and walking away felt like giving up. But now, looking back, I see it differently. Selling wasn’t failing, it was choosing freedom. It was choosing myself. It was making the decision to build something that actually fit the life I wanted, rather than forcing my life to fit the business I had built.
After stepping away I reflected and knew I still wanted to work for myself. That’s why I started Lemon Virtual Assistant. Now I help other entrepreneurs avoid the same mistakes I made. I help them offload tasks, create systems, and manage their workload so they don’t reach the same level of exhaustion I did.
If this is the stage you are in, try this:
Decide: Do you want to grow, exit, or simplify? Give yourself space to honestly assess what you want from your business.
Use the ‘Buyback Rate’ Formula. What is your time worth? If a task costs less than your hourly rate, outsource it.
Step into the CEO role. Shift from doing everything to focusing on high-value decisions.
Look at the bigger picture. Will your business still serve you in five years? If not, what needs to change now?
If any of this resonates with you, know that you have a choice. You don’t have to push through until you hit burnout. You don’t have to reach your breaking point before you make changes. You can take control now; by outsourcing, by creating systems, and by letting go of tasks that are weighing you down.
Your business should support your life, not consume it. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, my Workload Wellness Program can help.
The Workload Wellness Program is designed to help business owners take back control, streamline their workload, and create a sustainable way to grow, without working themselves into the ground.
In this 5-stage programme, we will:
Assess your workload to pinpoint what’s draining your time and energy.
Implement smarter systems so your business runs more efficiently.
Introduce automation and delegation strategies so you’re not doing it all yourself.
Create sustainable boundaries so you can enjoy your business (and your life)
.Develop a long-term strategy that ensures your business thrives, without burnout.
If you’ve been feeling overwhelmed, stretched too thin, or stuck in a cycle of never-ending work, this is your chance to change that.
Website: www.lemonvirtualassistant.org
This blog was prepared or accomplished by Amber Pattullo in their personal capacity. The opinions expressed in this blog are the author's own and do not necessarily reflect the views of Kayleigh Johnstone or COZ PR.
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